Grieving Someone Who’s Still Alive

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I’ve always associated grief with those who have died—a kind of sickening permanence knowing you will never see a person again, share a laugh, or breathe the same air. But I never considered the different kind of heartache that comes with mourning the loss of a living person. Like someone very close to you who moved across the country and “got too busy” to stay in touch. Or a best friend for years who changed so much you didn’t recognize her anymore. Or a romantic significant other with broken hearts on either side, or the worse fate of breaking up while still in love, out of necessity (perhaps the one downside of college). Continue reading

Hating Yourself Isn’t Fashionable

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There my dad stood patiently, at the top of the lush, grassy knoll of our backyard in Washington state, holding it—the beast I feared so greatly: a pink, sparkly bicycle with flowers on the wheels and tassels flowing off the handlebars. Training wheels were nowhere to be seen… Fast forward ten minutes (a lot of angst and fear later) and I felt the exhilarating, flying feeling of riding a bike for the first time. The grin on my face stretched from ear to ear.

I’d like to think that confidence isn’t that different from riding a bike, that it can be learned. There might be fear leading up to it and perhaps even an unwillingness to try, but ultimately you can train yourself to love who you are through practice and patience. Imagine how much wider your grin would be if you could experience that for the first time. Yes, I’d like to think that confidence can be learned, but I haven’t proved it for myself. Yet. Continue reading

Back with A Vengeance (Or Maybe Just a Lack of Direction)

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She livvvvvesss!” all of my followers cry dramatically, like I’m Frankenstein being shocked to life for the first time. Just kidding—while I’m not making that much of an entrance, I am fulfilling the promise made in my most recent post and returning from my blogging hiatus! July 4th marks the date I last hit the blue “Publish” button on the blog, and that’s the longest break I’ve taken in the 2 years of Graceful Rags’ existence. Here are a few things I learned in that time. Continue reading